Violent Explosions and Slow Burns: Which Personality Type?
Posted by Douglas Twitchell on Feb 10, 2006
I have three brothers. No sisters. Occasionally people would say to my mother, "Four boys? Wow! I bet you wish you had a daughter!"
And my mother would say, "No, not really."
"Really? Why not?"
"Because I teach sixth grade." Now, that would seem like a bit of a non sequiter, but then mom would explain, "When boys get mad at each other, they have a big explosion, maybe they throw a punch or two, and then ten minutes later it's all over and they're friends again. With the girls it's not like that. With the girls, when they get mad, it festers and simmers underneath, and it sometimes goes on for months
before they get over it. And those months are downright miserable for everyone around them."
It's the difference between a quick explosion and a slow burn. And although that may be the general rule for sixth graders, it doesn't always break down into gender lines; sometimes it's the guys who have the slow burn, sometimes it's the girls who have the sudden and violent explosion.
And I suspect everyone
leans toward one or the other of these personality types. Are you a violent exploder? Or a slow burner? It's important to understand which type you are, because your personality type affects how you handle stress and conflict. And there is a Bible verse for each of the personality types.
For the violent exploders we have this verse: James 1:19-20
- This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone muyst be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
If you are violent exploder, you must
learn that anger is never your first response. In fact, it's never even your second
response. Listen first, speak second, and anger comes last of all. Violent exploders occasionally put anger before speech, and often even before listening. But this kind of response achieves nothing
...except injury and destruction.
For the slow burners we have Hebrews 12:15
- See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.
The root of bitterness - the deep seated grudges and hatreds that fester in your soul - these are just as destructive, perhaps even more
destructive than the violent explosions. Because once bitterness grabs hold of you it never lets go. It burrows deeper and deeper and, as Hebrews says, "defiles many". Not just you, but all the people around you.
Slow burner? Or violent exploder. Neither is good, both must be tamed for the sake of all.
Where to Go from Here...